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Friday, November 15, 2013

Gotta Worsh Your Dangus


Hunks Take Home Real Awards



Hunks Clubhouse would like to send out Hunk High Fives to 2013 NL MVP Andrew McCutchen and 2013 NL CY Young winner Clayton Kershaw. Both men played an integral part in help Hunks Clubhouse achieve it's first HandyJ Fantasy Baseball Championship. This was McCutchen's second season with the Hunks as he was selected as a keeper before the 2013 draft. Kershaw pitched for the Hunks in 2012 and was drafted by I have the runs! in 2013. A mid-season trade sent Kershaw, along with Kyle Lohse, to the Hunks in exchange for Lance Lynn and Tony Cingrani.




Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Don't Forget

UFC 167 this weekend!
GSP vs Hendricks
Chael vs Rashad
Lawler vs McDonald



Thursday, November 7, 2013

HandyJ End of Year Awards...or The Handies (based on five votes)

The Handy for Biggest Bust goes to...

BJ Upton!


The Handy for Next Big Thing goes to...

Yasiel Puig!

The Handy for Most Dynamic Newbie goes to...

Jose Fernandez!

The Handy for Top Breakout Player goes to...

Paul Goldschmidt!

Here to present the award for Handiest pitcher is Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez!
Ben: It's great to be here to present the 2013 Handy for Handiest pitcher.
Jen: It sure is. There were plenty of great pitching performances this season and the Handy could have went to any number of fellas. Uh, Luis Atilano, Joel Pineiro, Candy Sierra, ...Molina.
Ben: Ok, Jen. I'm pretty sure you are just listing Puerto Rican players. And Molina? There's three of them and they are catchers.
Jen: Sorry. I just get so flustered when I'm around you. Can't stop thinking about all those nights together long ago. And to think you choose horse-faced Jennifer Garner over me and my sexy Latin ass.

Ben: Mmm, your ass makes me so hard baby. I want to put my Batmobile in rectum.
Jen: Oh you talk so sexy. It makes my taco very spicy. See? Ben, can you smell my spicy taco?
Ben: Oh yeah baby so hot! Let's make out.

Bennifer: The Handy for Handiest Pitcher goes to...

Clayton Kershaw!

And now a special musical performance from Steel Panther!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley!

Chris: Excuse me. Ha ha, had a little dry throat there.
Patrick: That's ok, Chris. We are here tonight to present the 2013 Handy for Handiest Swinger. This years winner truly, gosh it's hot in here. Hold on just a sec.

Patrick: There. That's better. As I was saying...
Chris: Woah, now. Now that you mention it, I am sweating profusely.

Patrick: Nice tits. Makes Jennifer Grey look like a little school boy.
Chris: And the Handy goes to....Paul Goldschimdt!


Patrick: HandyJ would like to thank all the manager of the 2013 HandyJ Fantasy League for a great season. We hope to see all of you next season, especially those of you who pay the fifty dollar fee and then don't check your team. Goodnight everybody and stay tuned for an all new "Living Single"

followed by the season premieres of "Walker: Texas Ranger" and

"Ghost Writer"




Monday, September 30, 2013

Hunks Reign Supreme

Age before beauty? How about both?! Hunks Clubhouse has claimed the title just three years after joining HandyJ. The Hunks were built for all around balance and they did just that, finishing near the top in every stat category with the exception of saves. The Cleveland Steamers came in at number 2 and a late season push by the Drunken Hounds slots them half a point ahead of the bearded clams. Last season's champion, I have the runs!, never got the motor running and finished in 6th.

Next season's draft promises to be exciting due to the influx of rookie talent that will be kept for cheap.

Copy and paste the below to take the end of seasons award vote!
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CCPQJYZ

Beast Mode 2.0

Marshawn Lynch with a Full-on Beast-Mode Run

This is why the Hunks find themselves in first at the moment

Friday, August 30, 2013

Draft Events

At the Croatian Invitational, we are passing the fun onto you! That's right! We will be auctioning off 2 boxes of 2008 Topps NFL Rookie Premiere (presented by Reebok and EA) and 2 blaster boxes of 2011 Topps Lineage baseball.

All proceeds for the Rookie Premiere cards will go towards providing all the luxuries that we have come to love on Croation Invitational Draft Day (food, draft board, beer). All proceeds for the Topps Lineage will go towards next seasons (2014) HandyJ Fantasy Baseball league prize budget. Rookie Premiere will have a $5 reserve and Lineage will have a $10 reserve. The below pictures are what could be in the boxes. It's all random.


This set Has 30 Cards From The Top Rookies From The 2008 Draft Will Be Featured In Their New NFL Uniforms, Including Darren McFadden, Matt Ryan, Brohm, Mendenhall & The Other 26 Top 2008 Rookies !!! Randomly Inserted Are Possible Autographed Cards !!!
 

7 packs plus one Game-Used relic card!


All draft day participants will be entered to win a 2008 SP Authentic Rookie Signature of John Carlson.


2008 SP Auth #242 John Carlson AU RC AUTO

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Note from Croatian Invitational Commish

Draft is 3:30 Saturday at the Greenhouse. $50 is due at the draft.

An additional $5 covers food and beer. I will likely have 4 kegs on tap. Not 100% sure which 4 I'll put out but I've got the following in kegs now: Hefeweizen, Cali Steam, Stout, Vanilla Stout, Cascadian Dark Ale and my medal winning English Mild.

Friday, August 23, 2013

steals winner

I have the runs! defeats Hunks Clubhouse in the steals competition 2-0.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Croatian Invitation 2013 Keeper Values

Roberts
T. Romo QB $16
P. Rivers QB $6
M. Crabtree WR $1
D. Alexander WR 8th RD
D. Martin RB $17
A. Bradshaw RB $8
D. Clark TE 8th RD
K. Moreno RB $5
J. Dwyer RB 8th RD
J. Blackmon WR 8th RD
F. Jackson RB INELIGIBLE
B. Lloyd WR $12
A. Brown WR INELIGIBLE
D. Avery WR 8th RD
D. Jackson WR $15
G. Zuerlein K 8th RD
New England DEF 8th RD

TJ
T. Brady QB INELIGIBLE
R. White WR $31
K. Wright WR 3rd RD
C.J. Spiller RB $2
V. Ballard RB 8th RD
G. Olsen TE 1st RD
J. Wright WR 8th RD
G. Tate WR 8th RD
J. Dressen TE 8th RD
P. Harvin WR INELIGIBLE
A. Brown RB $10
J. Jones WR 8th RD
W. McGahee RB $11
J. Tucker K 8th RD
Cleveland DEF 8th RD
Miami DEF 8th RD

Cory
J. Freeman QB 8th RD
M. Vick QB $23
B. Marshall WR INELIGIBLE
J. Gordon WR 8th RD
A. Foster HB $46
D. Sproles HB INELIGIBLE
D. Bess WR 8th RD
A. Green RB $15
A. Roberts WR 8th RD
M. Jones‐Drew RB $20
L. Stephens‐Howling RB $5
S. Chandler TE 8th RD
O. Daniels TE 2nd RD
S. Gostkowski K $2
P. Dawson K 8th RD
Oakland DEF 8th RD

Clay
RG III QB $15
A. Dalton QB 5th RD
P. Garcon WR INELIGIBLE
C. Givens WR $5
M. Lynch RB INELIGIBLE
M. Forte RB INELIGIBLE
M. Bennett TE 3RD RD
R. Murphy RB 8th RD
T. Smith WR $12
M. Austin WR $8
M. Floyd WR 4th RD
R. Bush RB $14
J, Battle RB 8th RD
L. James RB 8th RD
C. Benson RB 8th RD
S. Graham K 8th RD
Seattle DEF 6th RD

Shupe
M. Ryan QB $11
J. Flacco QB 2nd RD
R. Meachem WR 1st RD
C. Johnson WR $37
K. Williams RB 8th RD
F. Jones RB 5th RD
A. Gates TE $10
B. Hartline WR 4th RD
E. Decker WR INELIGIBLE
K. Britt WR INELIGIBLE
B. Pettigrew TE INELIGIBLE
S. Moss WR 3rd RD
G. Jennings WR $32
D. Akers K 4th RD
Buffalo DEF 8th RD
NYG DEF 6th RD

Winston

D. Brees QB INELIGIBLE
E. Sanders WR 8th RD
D. Moore WR $3
D. Thomas WR $16
R. Rice RB INELIGIBLE
A. Morris RB $9
B. Meyers TE 8th RD
J. Rodgers RB $4
D. Williams RB 8th RD
D. Bowe WR $16
S. Rice WR 3rd RD
R. Gronkowski TE INELIGIBLE
D. Walker TE 8th RD
L. Tynes K 8th RD
Atlanta DEF 8th RD
Houston DEF 6th RD

Whitey
E. Manning QB INELIGIBLE
S. Bradford QB 8th RD
M. Coleston WR $22
V. Cruz WR INELIGIBLE
J. Charles RB $24
B. Green‐Ellis RB $11
J. Graham TE INELIGIBLE
S. Jackson RB $16
A. Jeffery WR 4th RD
C. Shorts WR $5
D. Amendola WR 6th RD
M. Ingram RB 8th RD
D. Wilson RB 8th RD
B. Walsh K 8th RD
Tampa Bay DEF 8th RD
Denver DEF 7th RD

Jordan
C. Newton QB INELIGIBLE
V. Jackson WR $13
R. Wayne WR $11
C. Johnson RB INELIGIBLE
I. Redman RB $7
J. Gresham TE 1st RD
A. Boldin WR 2nd RD
D. Bryant WR $22
D. McFadden RB INELIGIBLE
N. Washington WR 3rd RD
B. Tate RB $5
C. Fleener TE $4
J. Kerley WR $4
J. Starks RB 8th RD
G. Hartley K 6th RD
Baltimore DEF 4th RD

Dillon
M. Stafford QB INELIGIBLE
A. Luck QB $6
A.J. Green WR INELIGIBLE
L. Moore WR $4
A. Peterson RB $33
D. Murray RB INELIGIBLE
T. Gonzalez TE $8
B. Brown RB 8th RD
R. Mathews RB $23
J. Maclin WR $11
D. Pitta TE 8th RD
D. Richardson RB $6
K. Rudolph TE $1
B. Price RB 8th RD
M. Bryant K 7th RD
SD DEF 8th RD
B. Gibson WR 8th RD

Preston
A. Rodgers QB INELIGIBLE
R. Cobb WR 8th RD
H. Nicks WR INELIGIBLE
S. Ridley RB $4
F. Gore RB $30
A. Hernandez TE INELIGIBLE
T.Y. Hilton WR 8th RD
S. Greene RB $11
J. Jones WR 8th RD
J. Nelson WR $23
B. Powell RB 8th RD
R. Mendenhall RB 5th RD
K. Toston RB 8th RD
D. Bailey K 8th RD
SF DEF $7
CIN DEF 8th RD

Dean
M. Schaub QB INELIGIBLE
D. Allen TE 8th RD
R. Fitzpatrick QB $1
C. Kaepernick QB 8th RD
S. Smith WR $15
S. Johnson WR $13
M. Leshoure RB 3rd RD
M. Turner RB $21
J. Tamme TE $1
J. Jones WR INELIGIBLE
V. Davis TE $16
D. Brown RB $3
L. McCoy RB INELIGIBLE
M. Prater K 5th RD
Indy DEF 8th RD
Green Bay DEF 4th RD

Mars
P. Manning QB $20
B. Roethlisberger QB $3
M. Wallace WR INELIGIBLE
D. Heyward‐Bey WR 3rd RD
J. Bell RB 8th RD
L. Blount RB 1st RD
B. Celek TE 2nd RD
M. Williams WR 4th RD
A. Johnson WR $40
J. Stewart RB $10
T. Moeaki TE 8th RD
K. Winslow TE $4
S. Suisham K 7th RD
M. Crosby K 5th RD
Pittsburgh DEF INELIGIBLE

Shawn
R. Wilson QB 2nd RD
J. Cutler QB $12
W. Welker WR $25
L. Fitzgerald WR INELIGIBLE
D. Woodhead RB 1st RD
T. Richardson RB $22
J. Witten TE $5
J. Finley TE $12
H. Miller TE 8th RD
D. Hester WR $3
C. Ivory RB 8th RD
K. Ogletree WR 8th RD
T. Gerhert RB 4th RD
M. Manningham WR 8th RD
R. Gould K 5th RD
Chicago DEF 3rd RD

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Monday, August 19, 2013

Steal Competition Winner

Hunks - 3
Steamers - 1
Clams - 0
Hounds - 0
Handi - 2
Danger - 0
Runs! - 3
Bukkake - 0
Jews - 0

A Playoff between Hunks and Runs will run Mon through Wed to determine the winner.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Thursday, August 15, 2013

RBI Contest Playoff Results

Handicapable - 6
I have the runs! - 9

I have the runs! wins: 2012 Topps Opening Day

  • Will Middlebrooks
  • Edwin Encarnacion
  • Craig Kimbrel
  • Billy Butler
  • Trevor Plouffe
  • Wally The Green Monster

Monday, August 12, 2013

Weekend RBI Contest results

Hunks: 7
Steamers: 13
Clams: 13
Hounds: 13
Handi: 16
Bukkake: 2
Carlos: 10
runs!: 16
NJs: 6

 Handicapable vs I have the runs!
Playoff to determine winner will be totals for Monday-Wednesday

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Baseball Scramble Over

The Scramble is over. Wirth is the one and only winner. He has won...

2013 Topps Archives Andre Ethier (1990 style)
1978 Topps Ivan DeJesus
1992 Pinnacle Chad Curtis (rookie)
2011 Topps ToppsTown Dan Uggla
1974 Topps Felipe Alou
1969 Topps Ron Fairly
1970 Topps Larry Dierker
1990 Fleer Super Star Specials Howard Johnson and Ryne Sandberg

Scrambles not solved

Wilson Betemit
Camilo Pascual
Brad Emaus

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Reserves Vote Finished

Dominic Brown - 56
Allen Craig - 36
Jean Segura - 36
Cliff Lee - 33

Michael Cuddyer - 32
Hanley Ramirez - 17
Francisco Liriano - 12
Jeff Locke - 11
Yadier Molina - 8
Chase Utley, Jordan Zimmerman - 5
Freddie Freeman, Shin-Soo Choo - 3
Hyun-Jin Ryu - 2
Pedro Alvarez, Aroldis Chapman - 1

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Reserves Ballot Update

Michael Cuddyer - 20
Dominic Brown - 16
Hanley Ramirez - 12
Jeff Locke - 10
Francisco Liriano - 8
Yadier Molina - 7
Chase Utley - 5
Jordan Zimmerman - 4
Freddie Freeman, Shin-Soo Choo - 3
Cliff Lee, Allen Craig, Jean Segura - 2
Pedro Alvarez, Hyun-Jin Ryu - 1

Voting Ends Friday 8AM

Monday, July 8, 2013

Reserves Ballot

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2VKZ7ZV

Copy Paste for bench ballot. Select four players. the McCutchen/CarGo tie takes up the 5th bench spot.

Final Voting Results: 2013 HandyJ All-Stars

CATCHER

  1. Buster Posey  - 44
  2. Yadier Molina - 31
  3. Evan Gattis - 17
  4. Kurt Suzuki - 16
  5. Wilin Rosario - 8
  6. Russel Martin - 2
  7. John Buck - 2
  8. Rob Brantly - 1
CORNER INFIELD
  1. Paul Goldschmidt - 68
  2. Joey Votto - 62
  3. Pedro Alvarez - 31
  4. Allen Craig - 19
  5. Freddie Freeman, Juan Francisco - 13
  6. Garrett Jones - 11
  7. David Wright - 10
  8. Yonder Alonso - 9
  9. Ryan Zimmerman, Matt Adams, Michael Young - 1
MIDDLE INFIELD 
  1. Everth Cabrera - 49
  2. Matt Carpenter - 43
  3. Jean Segura - 32
  4. Brandon Phillips, Jedd Gyorko - 24
  5. Starlin Castro - 18
  6. Troy Tulowitzki - 17
  7. Chase Utley - 12
  8. Ian Desmond - 11
  9. DJ LeMahieu - 4
  10. Andrelton Simmons - 2
  11. Scutaro, Gregorius, Rutledge, Descalso, Mercer, Hill, Murphy - 1
OUTFIELD
  1. Starling Marte - 65
  2. Yasiel Puig - 59
  3. Andrew McCutchen, Carlos Gonzalez - 40
  4. Michael Cuddyer - 38
  5. Norichika Aoki - 29
  6. Dominic Brown - 25
  7. Shin-Soo Choo - 22
  8. Alfonso Soriano - 20
  9. Carlos Gomez - 6
  10. Justin Upton, Carlos Beltran - 4
  11. Hunter Pence - 3
  12. Jon Jay - 2
  13. Harper, Werth, Kemp, Parra, Byrd, Pollack - 5 
STARTING PITCHERS
  1. Clayton Kershaw - 87
  2. Adam Wainwright - 84
  3. Matt Harvey - 75
  4. Patrick Corbin - 73
  5. Travis Wood - 57
  6. Jason Marquis - 43
  7. Jeff Locke - 34
  8. Cliff Lee, Hyun-Jin Ryu - 33
  9. Jordan Zimmerman - 20
  10. Mat Latos - 13
  11. Carlos Villanueva - 10
  12. Jhoulys Chacin, Francisco Liriano, Homer Bailey - 9
  13. Scott Feldman - 4
  14. Lance Lynn - 3
  15. Samardzija and 6 others - 2
  16. Gonzalez and 10 others - 1 
RELIEF PITCHERS
  1. Jason Grilli - 48
  2. Mark Melancon - 28
  3. Kyuji Fujikawa - 26
  4. Josh Collmenter - 25
  5. Craig Kimbrel, Edward Mujica - 22
  6. Steve Cishek - 20
  7. Kevin Gregg - 19
  8. Kenley Jansen - 14
  9. Aroldis Chapman - 11
  10. Rafael Soriano - 4
  11. Eric O'Flaherty, Heath Bell, Rex Brothers - 1

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Sunday Morning Ballot Report

Here is where we stand as of 11 AM Sunday morn. Just under 24 hrs left to vote. The Finalized version will be prettier. Please ignore my haste with this update. Leaders in Bold.

Buster Posey - the bearded clams 35
Yadier Molina - camden loves bukkake 29
Wilin Rosario - Wirthless Fucks 1
Evan Gattis - Cleveland Steamers 2
John Buck - Free Agent 2
Rob Brantly - Free Agent 1
Kurt Suzuki - Free Agent 16

Paul Goldschmidt - the bearded clams 58
Joey Votto - Cleveland Steamers 55
David Wright - camden loves bukkake 9
Allen Craig - Drunken Hounds 11
Freddie Freeman - Wirthless Fucks 5
Pedro Alvarez - Cleveland Steamers 4
Ryan Zimmerman - Hunks Clubhouse 1
Michael Young - camden loves bukkake 1
Juan Francisco - NatizJews 13
Garrett Jones - Free Agent 11
Matt Adams - Free Agent 1

Jean Segura - Wirthless Fucks 25
Troy Tulowitzki - NatziJews 15
Everth Cabrera - the bearded clams 32
Matt Carpenter - camden loves bukkake 26
Brandon Phillips - Drunken Hounds 18
Daniel Murphy - camden loves bukkake 1
Chase Utley - I have the runs! 12
Jedd Gyorko - Cleveland Steamers 18
Marco Scutaro - NatziJews 1
Starlin Castro - NatziJews 18
Didi Gregorius - Cleveland Steamers 1
Josh Rutledge - Free Agent 1
Daniel Descalso - Free Agent 1
DJ LeMahieu - the bearded clams 1
Jordy Mercer - Hunks Clubhouse 1
Aaron Hill - the bearded clams 1

Bryce Harper - Drunken Hounds 1
Carlos Gomez - Cleveland Steamers 4
Jayson Werth - Cleveland Steamers 1
Matt Kemp - Cleveland Steamers 1
Andrew McCutchen - Hunks Clubhouse 26
Starling Marte - Hunks Clubhouse 39
Yasiel Puig - Hunks Clubhouse 33
Carlos Gonzalez - camden loves bukkake 33
Gerardo Parra - cmaden loves bukkake 1
Dominic Brown - the bearded clams 19
Justin Upton - the bearded clams 4
Norichika Aoki - the bearded clams 15
Michael Cuddyer - I have the runs! 31
Hunter Pence - I have the runs! 3
Carlos Beltran - NaziJews 3
Shin-Soo Choo - NaziJews 20
Alfonso Soriano - NaziJews 20
Marlon Byrd - Free Agent 1
Jon Jay - Free Agent 2
A.J. Pollack - Free Agent 1

Mat Latos - Drunken Hounds 12
Hyun-Jin Ryu - Drunken Hounds 27
Matt Harvey - Cleveland Steamers 62
Adam Wainwright - Cleveland Steamers 54
Madison Bumgarner - Cleveland Steamers 2
Julio Teheran - Cleveland Steamers 2
Jacob Turner - Cleveland Steamers 2
Gerrit Cole - Cleveland Steamers 1
Jordan Zimmerman - Handicapable 20
Travis Wood - Handicapable 32
Cliff Lee - Handicapable 28
Clayton Kershaw - Hunks Clubhouse 58
Patrick Corbin - Hunks Clubhouse 44
Francisco Liriano - Hunks Clubhouse 7
Andrew Cashner - Hunks Clubhouse 1
Shelby Miller - camden loves bukkake 1
Jeff Locke - camden loves bukkake 15
Ryan Vogelsong - camden loves bukkake 1
Jeff Samardzija - Wirthless Fucks 2
Scott Feldman - the bearded clams 1
Johnny Cueto - the bearded clams 1
Paul Maholm - the bearded clams 1
Jhoulys Chacin - the bearded clams 1
Lance Lynn - I have the runs! 3
Gio Gonzalez - I have the runs! 1
Homer Bailey - NaziJews 4
Matt Garza - NaziJews 2
Carlos Villanueva - Free Agent 10
Jason Marquis - Free Agent 43
Dillion Gee - Free Agent 1
Roy Hallady - Free Agent 2
Dan Haren - Free Agent 2
Marco Estrada - Free Agent 1
Tyler Skaggs - Free Agent 1

Kenley Jansen - Drunken Hounds 8
Steve Cishek - Cleveland Steamers 17
Jason Grilli - Cleveland Steamers 48
Rex Brothers - Handicapable 1
Rafael Soriano - Hunks Clubhouse 4
Edward Mujica - Wirthless Fucks 7
Craig Kimbrel - I have the runs! 16
Aroldis Chapman - I have the runs! 5
Mark Melancon - I have the runs! 19
Kyuji Fujikawa - NaziJews 26
Kevin Gregg - Free Agent 19