Posey leads Molina by 4 votes
Goldschmidt leads Votto by 4 votes, Craig by 39
Segura and Cabrera tie, Gyorko not far behind
Marte, Puig and McCutchen barely fighting off CarGo and Cuddyer
Kershaw, Harvey, Wainwright, Corbin and Wood distance themselves from rest of pack
Grilli voters continue dismantling rest of RP selections. Melancon next closest but 25 still back
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
Ballot Results July 5th
Catcher
- Buster Posey - 22
- Yadier Molina - 17
- Kurt Suzuki - 6
- Rob Brantly - 1
- Wilin Rosario - 1
- Evan Gattis - 1
- John Buck - 1
CI
- Paul Goldschmidt - 38
- Joey Votto - 33
- Freddie Freeman - 5
- Allen Craig - 4
- David Wright - 4
- Pedro Alvarez - 3
- Juan Francisco - 3
- Ryan Zimmerman - 1
- Michael Young - 1
- Matt Adams - 1
- Garrett Jones - 1
MI
- Everth Cabrera - 20
- Jean Segura - 17
- Jedd Gyorko - 15
- Brandon Phillips - 12
- Troy Tulowitzki - 10
- Chase Utley - 9
- Matt Carpenter - 6 (pending trade to camden loves bukkake)
- Starlin Castro - 2
- Daniel Murphy - 1
- Marco Scutaro - 1
- Josh Rutledge - 1
- Daniel Descalso - 1
- Jordy Mercer - 1
- D.J. LeMahieu - 1
- Aaron Hill - 1
OF
- Starling Marte - 25
- Yasiel Puig - 20
- Andrew McCutchen - 17
- Carlos Gonzalez - 16
- Michael Cuddyer - 14
- Alfonso Soriano - 10
- Norichika Aoki - 10
- Shin-Soo Choo - 9
- Dominic Brown - 7
- Justin Upton - 4
- Carlos Gomez - 3
- Hunter Pence - 3
- Carlos Beltran - 3
- Jon Jay - 2
- Marlon Byrd - 1
- A.J. Pollack - 1
- Gerardo Parra - 1
- Bryce Harper - 1
SP
- Clayton Kershaw - 37
- Matt Harvey - 35
- Adam Wainwright - 29 (pending trade to camden loves bukake)
- Patrick Corbin - 29
- Travis Wood - 19
- Jeff Locke - 15
- Cliff Lee - 14
- Jason Marquis - 13
- Jordan Zimmerman - 11
- Hyun-Jin Ryu - 11
- Francisco Liriano - 4
- Lance Lynn - 3
- Homer Bailey - 2
- Matt Garza - 2
- Dan Haren - 2 (signed with I have the runs!)
- Roy Halladay - 2
- Jeff Samardzija - 2
- Jacob Turner - 2 (pending trade to camden loves bukkake)
- Mat Latos - 2
- Madison Bumgarner - 1
- Julio Teheran - 1
- Andrew Cashner - 1
- Shelby Miller - 1
- Scott Feldman - 1 (traded to AL)
- Johnny Cueto - 1
- Paul Maholm - 1
- Jhoulys Chacin - 1
- Gio Gonzalez - 1
- Dillion Gee - 1 (signed with camden loves bukkake)
- Marco Estrada - 1
- Tyler Skaggs - 1
RP
- Jason Grilli - 35
- Craig Kimbrel - 12
- Kyuji Fujikawa - 11
- Mark Melancon - 11
- Aroldis Chapman - 5
- Edward Mujica - 5
- Steve Cishek - 5
- Rafael Soriano - 4
- Kevin Gregg - 4 (signed with the bearded clams)
- Kenley Jansen - 3
- Rex Brothers - 1
- Eric O'Flaherty - 1
- Heath Bell - 1
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Marquis Campaigning for HandyJ All-Star Selection
As the 2013 HandyJ All-Star ballot hit the net, many voters were amazed to see a wide selection of players to choose from. The MLB ballot only let's you pick who they deemed worthy enough at the time of printing so there never are any updates relating to injuries, call ups or trades. Voters are allowed one write in vote per league, which many voters stupidly use on retired players like Cal Ripken JR (turd) or simply write in themselves (douches). Let us not forget the insane rule that all the teams must have a representative.
Enter Jason Marquis. A one time All-Star and World Series Champion. Not the flashiest of players. Not even the best. Not even the best looking. But also, not the ugliest. Not the worst. Not the un-flashiest. More or less, just an average player. Yet, when his name was announced for this seasons HandyJ ballot, Jason realized this may be his last chance at semi-greatness.
11:09 am July 1st, 2013
Marquis phones former manager Tony La Russa. "Hey Tony, it's me."
"Lassie?!"
"No, uh, Jason. Jason Marquis. You, uh, 'member me?"
"..."
"2006 champs?"
"Jeff Suppan?"
"Jesus, Tony. No. Ja-son Mar-quis."
"Oh! Oh yeah, the Hebrew kid. *Pause* Gosh, I recall that time you gave up thirteen runs in five innings of relief. You're a regular Vin Mazzaro." Tony coughs. "Excuse me. This lesbian wine is very viscous. Tough to swallow."
"Is it Kosher?"
"You can't have any of my lesbian wine. I need it... to get lesbians to come over. I wanna be manhandled be two butch dikes in flannel with Johnny Unitas haircuts."
Jason sighs. "Tony, Lesbian wine is made by carpet munchers. Sure some muff dunkers may drink Lesbian wine but Tony, Lesbian wine is called that because it is made on the island of Lesbos."
"So it's made by lesbos then."
"...Yeah, I guess so."
"Huh. Ok, bye."
"Wait!"
The reciever goes dead.
"I just wanted to talk about being a 2013 MLB All-Star before I fade into obscurity like Kerry Ligtenburg..."
6:07 pm July 1st
Later that night, tired of his usual Camden Bukkake website, Tony begins trolling the internet for handy j fetish sites. It was about 300 sites in before he clicked on handyjfantasy.blogspot.com/. He loved the idea of handjobs and baseball players. Fortunately for Jason Marquis (and unfortunately for La Russa's sweet gherkin), there aren't any hand jobs on the actual page (at the drafts, who knows) just baseball. And this particular day, there was an All-Star ballot.
Tony, book smart as he may be, thought that by checking the boxes he would actually get to watch hand jobs from many great players such as Matt Carpenter, Allen Craig and Adam Wainwright, who has given him a reach around many rears ago. Years, I mean. Oh the names Tony would click. Votto! Liriano! Frantically looking for Hollywood. Damn. Not on the ballot. Tony then spotted a name he remembered from just a few hours earlier. Shelby Miller.
Oh God, thought Tony. "So hot", he loudly moaned as he put his finger into his anus once. Twice. His fist.
"Wha-! Is that? That says Jason Mar, uh, queers?" He sounded it out. "Oh silly me. Mar-QUIS! Jason Marquis! HA HA. Oh yeah thats hot! Aw yeah."
He clicked and clicked again. Three times to be exact. And then he came.
The Anal. The End, I mean.
Enter Jason Marquis. A one time All-Star and World Series Champion. Not the flashiest of players. Not even the best. Not even the best looking. But also, not the ugliest. Not the worst. Not the un-flashiest. More or less, just an average player. Yet, when his name was announced for this seasons HandyJ ballot, Jason realized this may be his last chance at semi-greatness.
11:09 am July 1st, 2013
Marquis phones former manager Tony La Russa. "Hey Tony, it's me."
"Lassie?!"
"No, uh, Jason. Jason Marquis. You, uh, 'member me?"
"..."
"2006 champs?"
"Jeff Suppan?"
"Jesus, Tony. No. Ja-son Mar-quis."
"Oh! Oh yeah, the Hebrew kid. *Pause* Gosh, I recall that time you gave up thirteen runs in five innings of relief. You're a regular Vin Mazzaro." Tony coughs. "Excuse me. This lesbian wine is very viscous. Tough to swallow."
"Is it Kosher?"
"You can't have any of my lesbian wine. I need it... to get lesbians to come over. I wanna be manhandled be two butch dikes in flannel with Johnny Unitas haircuts."
Jason sighs. "Tony, Lesbian wine is made by carpet munchers. Sure some muff dunkers may drink Lesbian wine but Tony, Lesbian wine is called that because it is made on the island of Lesbos."
"So it's made by lesbos then."
"...Yeah, I guess so."
"Huh. Ok, bye."
"Wait!"
The reciever goes dead.
"I just wanted to talk about being a 2013 MLB All-Star before I fade into obscurity like Kerry Ligtenburg..."
6:07 pm July 1st
Later that night, tired of his usual Camden Bukkake website, Tony begins trolling the internet for handy j fetish sites. It was about 300 sites in before he clicked on handyjfantasy.blogspot.com/. He loved the idea of handjobs and baseball players. Fortunately for Jason Marquis (and unfortunately for La Russa's sweet gherkin), there aren't any hand jobs on the actual page (at the drafts, who knows) just baseball. And this particular day, there was an All-Star ballot.
Tony, book smart as he may be, thought that by checking the boxes he would actually get to watch hand jobs from many great players such as Matt Carpenter, Allen Craig and Adam Wainwright, who has given him a reach around many rears ago. Years, I mean. Oh the names Tony would click. Votto! Liriano! Frantically looking for Hollywood. Damn. Not on the ballot. Tony then spotted a name he remembered from just a few hours earlier. Shelby Miller.
Oh God, thought Tony. "So hot", he loudly moaned as he put his finger into his anus once. Twice. His fist.
"Wha-! Is that? That says Jason Mar, uh, queers?" He sounded it out. "Oh silly me. Mar-QUIS! Jason Marquis! HA HA. Oh yeah thats hot! Aw yeah."
He clicked and clicked again. Three times to be exact. And then he came.
The Anal. The End, I mean.
All-Star Ballot day 2
Remember to vote as often as you like. This is your chance to put together a REAL All-Star squad devoid of all the fan favoritism. But after seeing these results, I guess stupidity is still a real issue...
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2VKZ7ZV
Catcher
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2VKZ7ZV
Catcher
- Yadier Molina - 11
- Buster Posey - 10
- Rob Brantly - 1
Corner Infield
- Paul Goldschmidt - 19
- Joey Votto - 11
- Allen Graig - 3
- Freddie Freeman - 2
- David Wright - 2
- Juan Francisco - 2
- Garrett Jones - 1
- Pedro Alvarez - 1
Middle Infield
- Jean Segura - 10
- Jedd Gyorko - 7
- Everth Cabrera - 7
- Chase Utley - 7
- Troy Tulowitzki - 5
- Matt Carpenter - 4
- Brandon Phillips - 2
- Daniel Descalso - 1
- Josh Rutledge - 1
Outfield
- Starling Marte - 12
- Carlos Gonzalez - 10
- Yasiel Puig - 9
- Michael Cuddyer - 9
- Andrew McCutchen - 7
- Dominic Brown - 4
- Hunter Pence - 3
- Carlos Gomez - 2
- Alfonso Soriano - 2
- Jon Jay - 2
- A.J. Pollack - 1
- Marlon Byrd - 1
- Shin-Soo Choo - 1
- Carlos Beltran - 1
- Norichika Aoki - 1
- Justin Upton - 1
Starting Pitcher
- Clayton Kershaw - 17
- Matt Harvey - 16
- Patrick Corbin - 16
- Adam Wainwright - 12
- Travis Wood - 8
- Jeff Locke - 7
- Cliff Lee - 7
- Francisco Liriano - 4
- Jordan Zimmerman - 3
- Jason Marquis - 3
- Lance Lynn - 3
- Roy Halladay - 2
- Dan Haren - 2
- Mat Latos - 1
- Hyun-Jin Ryu - 1
- Andrew Cashner - 1
- Shelby Miller - 1
- Jeff Samardzija - 1
- Gio Gonzalez - 1
- Matt Garza - 1
- Dillion Gee - 1
- Marco Estrada - 1
- Tyler Skaggs - 1
Relief Pitchers
- Jason Grilli - 14
- Craig Kimbrel - 7
- Mark Melancon - 5
- Edward Mujica - 5
- Aroldis Chapman - 4
- Kenley Jansen - 3
- Kyuji Fujikawa - 2
- Steve Cishek - 1
- Kevin Gregg - 1
- Eric O'Flaherty - 1
- Heath Bell - 1
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
All-Star Results Day One
As of 6:45 AM 7/2
Catcher:
Catcher:
- Buster Posey 6
- Yadier Molina 4
- Everyone else 0
Corner Infielders (top two)
- Paul Goldschmidt 8
- Joey Votto 7
- Allen Craig 1
- Freddie Freeman 1
- Others 0
Middle Infielders
- Jean Segura 6
- Jedd Gyorko 5
- Troy Tulowitzki 4
- Chase Utley 3
- Brandon Phillips 1
- Everth Cabrera 1
Outfielders (three)
- Starling Marte 7
- Andrew McCutchen 5
- Yasiel Puig 5
- Michael Cuddyer 4
- Carlos Gonzalez 3
- Hunter Pence 2
- Carlos Gomez 1
- Dominic Brown 1
- Justin Upton 1
- Carlos Beltran 1
Starting Pitchers
- Clayton Kershaw 8
- Patrick Corbin 8
- Matt Harvey 7
- Adam Wainwright 5
- Travis Wood 5
- Jeff Locke 5
- Cliff Lee 3
- Francisco Liriano 3
- Lance Lynn 2
- Andrew Cashner 1
- Mat Latos 1
- Shelby Miller 1
- Gio Gonzalez 1
Relief Pitchers
- Jason Grilli 8
- Edward Mujica 4
- Craig Kimbrel 3
- Aroldis Chapman 2
- Kevin Gregg 1
- Kenley Jansen 1
- Steve Cishek 1
Get those votes in!!! Voting ends 8 AM July 8th
Monday, July 1, 2013
2013 HandyJ All-Star Ballot
Hunks Clubhouse has taken the time to put together an ALL-STAR ballot for the HandyJ League. Please Vote as often as you like. The roster will be revealed in one week.
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2VKZ7ZV
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
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