When it come's to last season's champ, I see him failing at repeating. I see too many role players in the offense. Heathly Han-Ram and Chase Headley could prove me wrong. He has big question marks a middle infield with Uggla and Utley, a combo that would have been bad ass a few years ago. Pussy Liquor has also got, and I won't say bad, but a weird outfield. Can Jason Kubel sustain what he did last year? Can Hunter Pence put last seasons lack luster performance as a Giant behind him? Will Juan Pierre be THAT relevant after the Marlins bring up Yelich? Wait, he will be relevant BEFORE than? As in now?
The pitching is strong but it might taking moving some pieces around to truly make this team competitive. But I'm sure with all the negative I have said about this team, last years champ Werth could just tell me to "kiss the ring, bitch" and then he would fart... a few times.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Season Preview: The Enema Bandits
I don't have much to say about the Bandits other than they will be sneaky good with Wilin Rosario Dawson and Mean Jean Segura. Plus, that outfield is just the tits. Everyone just try and go for second in HR and RBI because these bandits just stole those two categories. Yuk Yuk.
The pitching staff is alright and there is one Hunk in the bunch, Corey Luebke. I wish him well. The Bandits will compete, but an ace is needed to put them over the top(Stallone).
The pitching staff is alright and there is one Hunk in the bunch, Corey Luebke. I wish him well. The Bandits will compete, but an ace is needed to put them over the top(Stallone).
Season Preview: Hunks Clubhouse
Not much to say about the mustached gentlemen in regards to his offense. But his pitching leaves something to be desired. Let us not forget, because Clay certainly hasn't, that the Hunks lost Grienke, Anibal Sanchez and Tommy Hanson to the AL in the middle of last season and still managed a turd place. Not quite the crowning achievement he was looking for but still...
His offense will be potent and his pitching looks to be fair and maybe even average. Leaving money on the draft day table is never something a manager wants to do but when fail to pay attention and buy second catcher, why, you deserve to feel like a deflated Hunk. But fear not Hunk-aholics. This Hunk has the perseverance and know-how to make a run for the title. Just remember for the 2013 season, if the Hunks Clubhouse is a rockin' don't bother knockin, you probably aren't allowed in.
His offense will be potent and his pitching looks to be fair and maybe even average. Leaving money on the draft day table is never something a manager wants to do but when fail to pay attention and buy second catcher, why, you deserve to feel like a deflated Hunk. But fear not Hunk-aholics. This Hunk has the perseverance and know-how to make a run for the title. Just remember for the 2013 season, if the Hunks Clubhouse is a rockin' don't bother knockin, you probably aren't allowed in.
Season Preview: Cleveland Steamers
Speaking of Cleveland Steamers, hold on a sec...
Boy, that dump reminded me of this story about Corey Lidle and a tow truck... or was it Josh Hancock and an airplane... Ok either way, beside the point, let's get to the (turtle) head of the Steamers. Whitey came out with some real stinkers (Ludwick, Wellington Castillo) but totally redeemed himself with the signings of sexy Todd Frazier and Canadian Joey Votto. Ha, those big bomb dumps had to leave Dean's cheeks wet, if you know what I mean.
The Steamers' best intestinal sculpture would have to be his upgrade over last year's pitching staff. This could poop shit bricks of cold hard cash come prOctober.
Boy, that dump reminded me of this story about Corey Lidle and a tow truck... or was it Josh Hancock and an airplane... Ok either way, beside the point, let's get to the (turtle) head of the Steamers. Whitey came out with some real stinkers (Ludwick, Wellington Castillo) but totally redeemed himself with the signings of sexy Todd Frazier and Canadian Joey Votto. Ha, those big bomb dumps had to leave Dean's cheeks wet, if you know what I mean.
The Steamers' best intestinal sculpture would have to be his upgrade over last year's pitching staff. This could poop shit bricks of cold hard cash come prOctober.
Season Preview: Bearded Clams
Dean may have let Votto slip through his semen covered hands. but he held sticky strong Posey, Goldschmit and Aoki thus giving him a very balanced and possibly potent offense. The lack of replacements for Corey Hart's annual DL stint and Travis d'Arnuad demotion concerns me, but alas, what can I do. Dean lives on the edge(of glory), a place where most of us prefer not to dance. Let me put it this way, where most of us would spit on a grave, Dean would just pull out of his sister's mouth and splooge on the tombstone, then he'd put it in her ass. So...
All in all, Dean has put together a really well crafted team. Which just goes to show, there is life after Votto. At least, for the team who drafted him.
All in all, Dean has put together a really well crafted team. Which just goes to show, there is life after Votto. At least, for the team who drafted him.
Season Preview: Handicapable
Well, like most Handicapped, this team was strong. Retarded-monkey strong, as they say. But if there is one thing that a Handicapable person is good at, it's making bicycle helmets fashionable. That and reminding everyone that they have a handicap. Last year it was pitching for Winny. Well, after the draft it was apparent that he was more than willing to filling that hole. Acquiring a catcher and a bounce back year for Ryan Howard could prove to be enough to keep Winman's offense close to the top. Look for BJ Upton to be a big time baller-make-ya-holla if he can get that avg up to .270
The top notch pitching, a bounce back year for Ryan Howard and the flexibility of being able to play Adrian Gonzalez in the outfield could pay dividends this fall, proving Winny's team to be capable after all.
The top notch pitching, a bounce back year for Ryan Howard and the flexibility of being able to play Adrian Gonzalez in the outfield could pay dividends this fall, proving Winny's team to be capable after all.
Season Preview: Camden Loves Bukkake
This is a stronger team than last seasons Alabama Hot Pockets. Did you know that people in Alabama are so poor that they mostly eat stolen Hot Pockets? They can't even afford microwaves to heat them up in. They just eat them cold. Like how we do with Pop Tarts. Which they also can't afford! They have to enjoy Toaster Tarts. Do they use a toaster? Of course not. They warm 'em up by putting them between their butt cheeks all day when they're out scraping up possum puddin' from the side of the road.
There were alot of gasps at the draft for how high Yadier went for. but hey, there weren't many options left and if you got the dough, then something that rhymes with dough, yo. See what I did with Ryan Zimmerman last year. Like with Preston and Molina this season, I could afford to go Knuckles Deep, Steubenville Style, and blow a big wad on Zimmerman last year. But that's what Hunks do. They wait for til the time is right, always watching, waiting, becoming less of a threat and them BOOM! Before you can even get your camera phone out, the Hunks just sprung $40 on your ass and you have to hide your jealousy because you just spent $26 on Carlos Lee or John Mayberry or maybe you even kept Gaby Sanchez... Hey, I've been down that road before (Aubrey fucking Huff) and the best thing to do is make sure it never happens again. So basically what i am saying is, I applaud the drafting of Yadier Molina for such a high amount. Preston, you put yourself in position to get Molina when most of us, myself included, thought he was kept (I'm not sure why I thought that). Sneaky sneaky, sis.
Overall, this is a pretty balanced team. Three pitchers had 200 IP last season and another was just under that mark. If I had to give grades, I could see this team getting a good one.
There were alot of gasps at the draft for how high Yadier went for. but hey, there weren't many options left and if you got the dough, then something that rhymes with dough, yo. See what I did with Ryan Zimmerman last year. Like with Preston and Molina this season, I could afford to go Knuckles Deep, Steubenville Style, and blow a big wad on Zimmerman last year. But that's what Hunks do. They wait for til the time is right, always watching, waiting, becoming less of a threat and them BOOM! Before you can even get your camera phone out, the Hunks just sprung $40 on your ass and you have to hide your jealousy because you just spent $26 on Carlos Lee or John Mayberry or maybe you even kept Gaby Sanchez... Hey, I've been down that road before (Aubrey fucking Huff) and the best thing to do is make sure it never happens again. So basically what i am saying is, I applaud the drafting of Yadier Molina for such a high amount. Preston, you put yourself in position to get Molina when most of us, myself included, thought he was kept (I'm not sure why I thought that). Sneaky sneaky, sis.
Overall, this is a pretty balanced team. Three pitchers had 200 IP last season and another was just under that mark. If I had to give grades, I could see this team getting a good one.
Season Preview: Drunken Hounds
Cheap keepers have allowed the Hounds to build a strong team. Heck, they even boast a back-up middle infielder! Which, by the way is a great idea because anytime you have Rickie Weeks on your roster, you're gonna need some back-up. Weeks is basically a four month 10-32, so you're panicking, having this fucking Code 8 on your hands, which only Zach Cozart responds to... And is all that really worth a 10-18? Sure, for the Hounds are looking strong on offense so the risk/reward factor with Weeks is worth the shot.
The late season return of Brandon Beachy could give the Hounds the boost they need come crunch time and could prove overly devastating to other members of the HandyJ if Haren stays healthy and Mike Fiers builds of last season. Of course, it could all just go to shit too.
The late season return of Brandon Beachy could give the Hounds the boost they need come crunch time and could prove overly devastating to other members of the HandyJ if Haren stays healthy and Mike Fiers builds of last season. Of course, it could all just go to shit too.
Season Preview: H.Y.F.R.
He gone! You should never have to pay your friends $50 just to hang out with them and put together a shitty fantasy baseball team. Think of it like I do. I am lending them $50 for a few months and then come October, they will collectively pay me back with interest.
...Oh the life of a Hunk.
...Oh the life of a Hunk.
Season Preview: NaziJews
First off, great name. (Sarcasm). NaziJews is pretty tame. Nazi and Jew are used a lot so at this point I think they have lost that special luster that makes them so offensive, even together. I refuse to believe that Shawn overlooked such great combinations like HonkyNiggers. Which looks and feels WAY more offensive than HonkyN*****S. Plus it's more fun! This is HandyJ 2013. You have to something better than NaziJews. We want more! We want more! Like, you really like it, you want more. Do you follow me?
Secondly, awesome job being on time for the draft. If we had bonus points, you would surely be rewarded some... that you would probably trade to Winny.
No surprise here. Both Tulo and Castro are kept as well as Soriano. but I think we can all agree that if Campana wasn't traded, he would own a roster spot on the NJs. Dexter Fowler and Garrett Jones rejoin Shawn's offense while long-face Aaron Harang returns to the starting rotation along with prototypical bearded ginger Ian Kennedy. New Editions include Matt Garza, Shin-Soo-Choo and Homo Bailey.
Shawn has put together a strong team. Almost shocking. He had a good draft and could be poised to terrorize team competing not to finish at the back of the pack. Let's hope he stays active.
Secondly, awesome job being on time for the draft. If we had bonus points, you would surely be rewarded some... that you would probably trade to Winny.
No surprise here. Both Tulo and Castro are kept as well as Soriano. but I think we can all agree that if Campana wasn't traded, he would own a roster spot on the NJs. Dexter Fowler and Garrett Jones rejoin Shawn's offense while long-face Aaron Harang returns to the starting rotation along with prototypical bearded ginger Ian Kennedy. New Editions include Matt Garza, Shin-Soo-Choo and Homo Bailey.
Shawn has put together a strong team. Almost shocking. He had a good draft and could be poised to terrorize team competing not to finish at the back of the pack. Let's hope he stays active.
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Surprise
This years Handy draft was a surprising success. Thanks to all who participated. More analysis will be available in the coming week. :-) smiley
Friday, March 15, 2013
Look and See Why Don't Cha?
Rummage season is officially in full swing. With the promise of temps in the mid 50's, I said fuck sleep. Check out these sweet deals I got after work today.
If only that Rod Carew was centered better, still a sweet addition for $2. The great thing about the Orioles "Champs" card is that part of the back was peeled off of it. Which actually isn't that great at all. The three league leader cards are in pretty good shape other than a couple small creases and a dent in Mike Cuellar's face. Joe Torre looks a greasy gomba creepster.
Now what you see below are 15 Topps Look and See cards from 1952. It kills me that the Geronimo has the middle of his face peeled off. This is the most popular non-sport set issued by Topps. Babe Ruth is the highest priced card in this set and is also the only athlete feaured, typicaly selling for over $300. Artist Rembrandt, card #82 remains the scarcest of the 135 card set. Check it out!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
2013 Allen & Ginter's Preview: Check It Out
Realease date is July 17th
Full-sized insert cards will be sets focusing on shared birthdays of MLB players (Across the Years, 100 cards), One Little Corner (celestial bodies), Palaces and Strongholds (20 cards), Martial Mastery (10 notable warriors) and a 20-card Civilizations of Ages Past set.
Mini inserts will include The First Americans — cards for Native American tribes — Inquiring Minds (philosophers), Heavy Hangs the Head (monarchs), Codes, Siphers and Cryptographs (10 famous codes), Peacemakers and Famous Finds.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
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